Growing Weary

I’m growing weary
Of the ephemerality of stability.
It’s not fair–no nevermind;
Nothing is fair–it just plain
Old sucks

That I spends weeks, sometimes months
In an out-of-control manic state
Feeling God run through my veins
As my bank account gets wounded
And I unknowingly hurt myself
Over and over again,
Burning bridges like some
Kind of arsonist

Followed by weeks, maybe months
Of soul-crushing depression
And feeling that the world is just too much for me–
Or am I too much for it?

Then it eases
Oh so temporarily

Before the cycle repeats.