I’m growing weary Of the ephemerality of stability. It’s not fair–no nevermind; Nothing is fair–it just plain Old sucks That I spends weeks, sometimes months In an out-of-control manic state Feeling God run through my veins As my bank account gets wounded And I unknowingly hurt myself Over and over again, Burning bridges like some Kind of arsonist Followed by weeks, maybe months Of soul-crushing depression And feeling that the world is just too much for me– Or am I too much for it? Then it eases Oh so temporarily Before the cycle repeats.
Brisk air chills My exposed face. I’m stuck wondering If I can’t sleep, And I can’t eat, How can I do anything? Running back home, I can only wonder How people just Exist in This purgatory.
Something may kill me, But I will not die. I will leave my mark On my family and friends. I will live on with my lover. My body may turn to ashes, But my spirit will live on Creating chaos long after.
Feeling wild and free Feeling wide-eyed and please Won’t you take my hand and Let me in your band? I thought we were together But you didn’t call and say whether You were too busy so I assume You don’t want to be in the same room. Alone here I sit Feeling lost: this is my exit.
The excitement hits me like Flurries in a New Hampshire winter– Unexpected, out of nowhere, Short lasting, but could amount to Either the greatest day, The messiest of situations, Or nothing at all. That’s okay. Let the flakes fall And land where they may.
I am on a lifelong journey That started at birth, But won’t end with my death. No, my spirit will venture onwards. I will continue to explore the heavens And the pits of Hell Never knowing where I’ll fit in; Even God doesn’t know what to do with me.
It’s a shame I don’t remember much, Because so much has happened. I remember the car crash. I remember buffalo sauce, But I don’t remember much else. I don’t remember what music To which we made love. I don’t remember when Was the last time I showered. I remember being furious, And I remember feeling the stars Between each of my finger tips. I know I’ve done a lot of writing Without a lot of saying. I was afraid to open my mouth today, What stupid words would I say?