Trying to Recover

I don’t know what to say.
Disorganized thoughts.
Auditory hallucinations.
Paranoid delusions.
It’s all still there.
It’s hidden,
But they pop out from
Time to time.
Say “hey, we’re still
Here to
Hurt you.”
They say “listen,
We still have
Control.”
“We’ll still pierce
Your
Soul.”
Please leave me
Alone.
I’ll say “it’s really
No big deal;”
I’ll think “someone
Help me heal.”

War

There is a war going on inside me.
It looks like lions attacking each other,
It feels like being electrocuted
And set on fire in the same seconds.
Sometimes there is a lull in the war--
A break in the battles--
An eerie nothingness.
Everything is numb.

I have yet to process the trauma.
I have no feelings, other than 
A precarious curiosity of when 
the next perilous battle is,
And of who will win,
Or if there even will be a victor.

Will the lions ever tire?

Storm’s A’ Comin’- Poem by Sara

My corner of the world sleeps
Mostly silent, subtracting the
Sounds of snores and the cooing and crying
Of the little ones.
You may think it’s peaceful--
Not for long!
There is a beastly storm coming,
As soon as they wake up that is.
If they never open their eyes,
They’ll be too blinded to see the storm.
Oh,
But the violent storm is coming
Either way. Only a few
Of us see it coming.
We will be prepared.
We will wake up loved ones
We will seek shelter,
And we will survive.
Open your eyes, and
Save your lives.
Get to safety now.

Trepidations- Poem by Sara

With terror I trust that I am talentless at writing,
Though I believe it is what saved me,
And that is my main reason for continuing.
Still I worry that those who believed in me
And my ability
Were clueless or lying, and either way,
If I am wrong for worrying about such things,
I apologize for being so accusatory
And for not believing in myself.
I should know better. I should know
It’s better to do the things I love,
Even if my ability doesn’t exceed
My Eiffel Tower expectations
Especially at the beginning of the journey.
Of course I’m no pro, I just started,
But I’ve got the passion to persevere.
How else will I get better?